Arnold has a love child with the maid, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn sexually assaults a maid. Anthony Weiner tweets his wiener to young co-eds while Bill Clinton used a cigar on a young intern and Mark Foley just used the male interns. Spitzer hired hookers, Edwards hired his mistress and Letterman slept with those he hired. Tiger Woods, Donald Trump, Jesse James, Mark Sanford, Newt Gingrich and most of the Kennedy men. The list really doesn’t really need explanation.
In most of the cases, the women these powerful men go after are mostly the young, naïve or unsophisticated who sit in adoration of the men. And there you have it – the reason men screw around. There’s nothing left to make them feel powerful other than repeated sexual conquests.
Men are crafty dudes. As a single woman until I was 34-years-old, I’ve seen a lot and heard many a line.
Younger women think it’s about men actually wanting them and are perplexed when these men have really nice and gorgeous wives. Older women know that it usually has nothing to do with the women they betray or the women they seek. It’s all about the men satisfying their need to be adored.
Even the disgusting brute Dominique Strauss-Kahn kept shouting at his victim, “Don’t you know who I am? Don’t you know who I am?”
A Message to Young Women
The age-old test our mothers told us about still holds true on all fronts whether you’re 19 or 49 years old: if he truly wants you, he will court you and wait. If not, he didn’t really want you in the first place.
There is also a message in all of this that will make many a woman groan, and that is that deep down all men need to be adored.
While we’re hauling laundry, bathing babies, walking around with ankle weights on to help regain the figure he married and just trying not to be devoured by life, our men need us to adore them. It is what fuels their psyches.
One of my sisters said about her first husband, “He needs a woman who will sit and watch him putt all day and adore him. That’s not me.” That ex-brother in-law found that woman who does adores him, and they have been married for many years.
So What’s the Answer?
Men who have the world at their feet continue to risk it all and salivate after big-breasted chickies who bounce by and smile. It won’t change. Men are hard-wired that way.
There are, however, honorable men who protect themselves.
President George W. Bush, before he was president, incensed that a female campaign worker continued to pursue him, finally roared at her “Don’t you know I’m a married man!” Other campaign workers thought his response somewhat harsh and embarrassing to the woman, however, Bush knew exactly what she was doing. She didn’t come back.
My own father refused to socialize after 6:00 p.m. without my step-mother at his side. It wasn’t until he was in his 70’s that he would even go out to dinner with a group of men if she was out of town.
What Can We Do?
Ideally, all men would do exactly what President Bush did – admonish women who pursue them despite their marital status.
Men and women should refuse to ignore this boorish behavior that many excuse as “their personal lives.” News flash – someone’s “personal” character is indicative of their character in every other aspect of their lives. And those who are in politics simply set themselves up for blackmail.
Don’t watch Elliot Spitzer’s TV show on CNN. Don’t go to any more Schwarzenegger movies. Don’t vote for Anthony Weiner when he runs for NYC mayor.
What It Means
The behavior of these men in the news and our response as a society is setting the standard for what we expect our daughters to accept. Is this what you want for your daughter?